Ear me out!
by bond2012
Summary: Jim is bored and Spock becomes the victim of his mischievous attempts to entertain himself, with unexpected results.


**_Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek._**

**_Thanks for reading this story. Its my first Star Trek FanFiction, although I hope there will be many more to come. I have written lots of Harry Potter stuff though so if you get a chance, please check that out. I hope you enjoy this story. Feel free to leave a review! Thanks again, bond2012._**

**'Ear me out!**

It was a particularly dull day on the bridge. The Enterprise, along with her legendary crew, was making her way to the Delta V system, light years away from her previous destination.

She had been travelling for 16 days with nothing to interrupt her course, not even a single shred of neutral zone or hostile territory to disrupt her clockwork schedule. As a result, the crew were growing bored.

Captain James T Kirk was a hero. His lightning fast response to danger, curious mind, deadly instincts and furious battle technique was legend across the stars. He was used to fighting his way through life. He had grown accustomed to being the underdog who eventually comes out on top. This new lifestyle of peace and silence as he travelled through space was unsettling and his ship felt more like a cruise ship than a space ship. It was becoming a chore to stay focussed on the job that normally he lived for.

Kirk was bored and itching for trouble. He tapped his foot impatiently on the metal flooring below his chair and sighed heavily every few minutes. The Captain's restlessness was impacting on the rest of the crew. They yawned and dozed at their posts. They even chattered and zoned out, forgetting that at any moment, an unexpected danger could be upon them. The blank, empty canvas of space on the view screen prevented them from feeling alert. Normally it held the promise of adventure but today, as with the previous 15 days, it promised nothing but a routine day and mundanity.

Only Spock remained on task. He was sat at his science station, analysing every tiny fluctuation in normality as they glided along through the darkness. He worked efficiently as usual and the sight of him typing away on his PADD made Jim tired.

Hours had passed with not so much as a strangely coloured star when Jim suddenly had an idea. The bridge crew was down to a bare minimum and those who were left were some of his closest friends…so why not have a bit of fun?

Jim rose from his chair and stretched his numbing legs. He made his way, grinning, towards the science station. Spock was bent low over a sensor, still as a statue. His blue regulation jumper clung tightly to his muscled back and his pointed ears were visible from behind his neat hair.

Kirk walked over to the science officer, feeling the swooping sensation associated with mischievous nerves, and clapped his hand on his back amicably. Spock flinched slightly at the contact as though he had been burned but it was barely noticeable. He looked up from the sensor and said in a soft voice,

"Ah, Captain. How can I be of assistance?"

Jim grinned widely and replied,

"I'm bored Spock."

Surprised by the response, Spock rose to his full height, abandoning the sensor. He was tall and thin but by no means weedy and Jim was beginning to regret his plan as he noted the height difference and spotted the disguised muscle on his Vulcan friend.

Most of the bridge crew had turned to watch the events, obviously suspecting that they would become humourous.

"I do not believe that there is anything I can do to help you at this present time sir." Spock said carefully.

"Ah! That's where you are wrong Spock!" Jim said loudly, catching the attention of the entire bridge crew.

"Sir?" Spock's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Would it be culturally unacceptable for me to touch your ears?" Jim asked, trying to sound innocent.

Several of the crew members snorted and shuffled around in their seats to get a better view of the proceedings. Spock's eyebrows had shot up in surprise.

"I do not understand sir."

"Would it be highly offensive if I were to touch your ears?" Jim repeated.

"Yes sir." Spock answered.

Now it was Jim's turn to be surprised. He knew it was wise to avoid Vulcan hands, but Vulcan ears?! If he hadn't known better he would have believed Spock a liar.

"Really?" he asked, taken aback.

"Yes sir," Spock explained, "I would find it highly offensive."

"But it's not culturally wrong?" Jim pressed, now starting to understand. Spock hesitated.

"No sir." He admitted.

Jim beamed in delight and stretched out a curious hand towards Spock's ear but the man had already suspected this action and jerked his head sharply out of the way.

"Captain, I would request that you refrain from doing that." Spock warned.

The bridge crew were stifling giggles and nobody was focussed on task anymore. Jim moved around the chair to get closer to Spock but he had once again predicted his actions and backed away to Lieutenant Uhura's communication station.

"Sir, please do not-"Spock began but his begging was cut off by Jim who, forgetting all rules and decorum, had lunged forward with his arms outstretched. Spock made a soft yelp like a dog whose paw had been trodden on and dived out of the way.

Jim wasn't going to give up that easily; he swung himself over the small barrier, down onto the floor by his Captain's chair and blocked Spock's path to the turbo-lift. He flung out his arms wildly but the Vulcan was too quick and he ducked easily and shot away from Jim with surprising speed, taking refuge opposite him behind the navigation area.

The entire bridge crew was in hysterics. Jim was stalking Spock from behind Chekov and Sulu who were ducked down, occasionally shouting support for either officer. Spock was watching Jim like a hawk, trying to determine his next move.

Silence fell as the crew waited eagerly for the hunt to begin again. Spock made his decision and darted to the left after tugging teasingly to the right. Logically, Jim should have been fooled and gone blundering to the right to catch him but, as he was when they played chess, Kirk was a tricky opponent who favoured the tactics of illogic and unpredictability.

He swung quickly past Sulu and grabbed Spock around the middle, throwing both himself and his first officer to the ground. Spock made a pained 'Oof!' sound as he crashed to the floor and Jim clambered onto his back, pinning him down. The crew roared with laughter and cheered Jim's success. He waved his arms to express his pride and then returned to the task at hand.

Spock was breathing heavily although he had stopped struggling. Kirk noticed that his eyes were closed and his jaw set as though he were clenching his teeth. Jim reached down and touched the tip of his pointed ear, before grabbing it roughly and turning to the cheering crew with glee.

Spock shuddered uncomfortably. When he was done, Jim released the Vulcan who leapt to his feet with the grace of a cat and stormed off the bridge without a second's hesitation. Jim was grinning like a schoolboy. His small victory over Spock and fulfilment of long withstanding dream (to touch Spock's ears) made him swell with pride. However, somewhere in his mind a little voice was chastising him for humiliating his very private friend…

Shame quenched the flames of victory and Jim felt very bad indeed. So after silencing the crew, he left the bridge to make after Spock. When he reached his friend's quarters he buzzed the door and tapped his foot nervously outside.

No answer.

He tried again.

Still nothing.

"Come on Spock! I didn't mean to upset you! I was having a bit of fun! I'm sorry."

Silence.

"Look Spock, I shouldn't have done that. It was humiliating for you and I was wrong to embarrass you in front of everyone. I'm truly sorry."

Still silence.

"Spock?" Jim felt very guilty.

Nothing.

"I'm really sorry." He said quietly.

He waited, feeling the uncomfortable icy guilty in his stomach and the endless replay of his actions in his mind…

"Hey Spock! I've got an idea! I can make it up to you! Come out here and I'll show you…"

Nothing. Of course he wouldn't fall for that. The man was a genius.

"Spock, Ear me- I mean hear me out!"

Spock opened the door. He was still tall, thin and far from weedy, but now he looked almost dangerous with his thinly disguised anger. Now more than ever, Jim feared his stern face and muscled body. Spock quivered with supressed rage and humiliation. He said nothing, but glared at Jim.

Captain Kirk was a brave man but even he flinched under the Vulcan's fiery gaze. His eyes were dark with anger. They revealed a cocktail of sadness, embarrassment, shame and fury which Kirk was not prepared for. He was not used to such a display of emotion from his stoic friend. He felt awful.

"I have an idea. I touched your ears, so you can touch mine. Go on." Jim rushed, tilting his head so that his slightly pink ear was angled at Spock.

Spock didn't move.

"Go on! It's only fair!" Jim encouraged. He closed his eyes to give Spock some space although he highly doubted a response. All he hoped for was that Spock would accept the apology and attempt at humour as retribution. Jim was just thinking that he would propose a game of chess instead when a cold hand grasped his ear tightly and tugged hard.

Jim yelled in pain and surprise. It had been a sharp tug!

Then as quick as it had happened, Spock disappeared behind his bedroom door which closed in Jim's face. He stood for a few seconds, registering what had happened, and then he smirked cheekily, knowing that all was forgiven.

"I'll see you in Rec room 2 at 0800 for chess Commander." He called back, as he strutted away to the bridge, victorious once more.

Very faintly, in the background behind machine whirring and comms beeping, he could have sworn he heard a soft, very sarcastic, "Yes_ sir_."


End file.
